Polyamory Reading Guide

Last updated 8 February 2020 (added footnote)

What is polyamory? According to the definition provided on the website More Than Two✱, polyamory is "the state or practice of maintaining multiple sexual and/or romantic relationships simultaneously, with the full knowledge and consent of all the people involved."

What is this webpage? This is a simple list of books and articles for people who want to find out more about polyamory and open relationships. If you're interested in people and events, maybe try companion page UK Polyamory Resources.

Have you actually read any of these? Half, at the last count. This list was generated through a discussion in the UK Polyamory facebook group in April 2016. My personal recommendations would be to start with something short such as Redefining Our Relationships by Wendy-O Matik or Designer Relationships by Mark A. Michaels and Patricia Johnson, and then follow with the more comprehensive Rewriting the Rules by Meg-John Barker.

Why does it look so basic? Because simple solutions are often the most effective, but mostly because I'm not a web designer.

Books

Ethical non-monogamy in practice

Academic, scientific and theoretical texts

If you're interested in academic texts, try companion page Polyamory Research

Autobiography and personal stories

Sex and relationships

Gender and Sexuality

Kink and BDSM

For more books, take a look at All 42 nonfiction books on modern polyamory on Polyamory in the News, or Best Books for Polyamory on Goodreads.

Zines

Anarchist

LGBTQ+

Mental health

Sex and relationships

Facebook groups

For UK-focused groups, see UK Polyamory Resources

Websites


✱ In February 2019, Franklin Veaux (author of The Game Changer, co-author of More Than Two and operator of the More Than Two website) was called in by a group of six his previous partners, alleging a pervasive and longstanding pattern of manipulation and serious harm. Eve Rickert, one of the survivors and co-author of the More Than Two book has not called for a boycott and has noted that she would suffer financial damage as a result of one. This web page originated as a place simply to list available books: I did not make editorial decisions over what to include or exclude. However, in the light of the allegations, I think it is appropriate that I include a warning about Franklin's books.

Whilst there is still valuable material in these books, it needs to be read in its proper context. I would recommend that anyone who has engaged with, or wishes to engage with, Franklin's work also familiarises themselves with Eve Rickert's reflections on the book, the survivor testimonies and Franklin's partners' accounts, and the survivor group's collective responses to the book. The Franklin Veaux Survivor Pod Public Sources & Community Responses contains a comprehensive list of links to documents and discussions related to the ongoing process.

Addendum: I have previously recommended More Than Two on this page, alongside Rewriting the Rules as a good starting-point for people new to non-monogamy, and the book formed a significant part of my own introduction to alternative relationship styles. Whilst I believe there is still much that is valuable in the book, I have not had a chance to re-read it with a critical eye in the intervening time and therefore do not feel it is appropriate for me to recommend it to beginners due to the close relationship between the book and Franklin's own approach to relationships. With that said, I am in no way an authority on relationship literature: s̶t̶r̶a̶n̶g̶e̶ ̶w̶o̶m̶e̶n̶ ̶l̶y̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶p̶o̶n̶d̶s̶ ̶d̶i̶s̶t̶r̶i̶b̶u̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶s̶w̶o̶r̶d̶s̶ throwing together a rudimentary web page on a free hosting service is no basis for a system of g̶o̶v̶e̶r̶n̶m̶e̶n̶t̶ community leadership. Caveat lector!


Something to add? Email eatthinkdance@gmail.com. I'd particularly love to hear about more zines and other accessible forms of writing.

txti